What To Do If Your Rising Senior Is Reluctant To Start the College Application Process 6/23/25

I’ve been here more than once — and it is beyond frustrating.

I’ve followed all the college counselors on Instagram who say, “Start your applications now!” or “Your college list should be finalized by June!” They say letters of recommendation should’ve been requested right after spring break. And yet, here we are.

In my house, this process has never gone exactly as planned. Schools haven’t been researched. No teacher has been asked for a recommendation. And starting the Common App or personal statement? Not even close.

I’ve tried everything. I’ve nagged. I’ve empathized. I’ve been the cheerleader. I’ve scheduled “college talk” for one hour a week and promised no mention of it the other 167 hours. And still — nothing.

For my oldest, I hired an independent college counselor because I had no idea what I was doing. Her school list was completely random, and she pushed back hard on every essay idea. Even with a 4.0 GPA and a 1430 SAT, her results weren’t what she hoped for. But now, as a junior at our local state university, she’s thriving.

My son, on the other hand, had his sights set on a top business program. He was more focused, so I hired another counselor who kept us on track using Facebook updates, brainstorming tools, and regular check-ins. He didn’t get into his dream school, but he’s headed across the country this fall to a great fit.

Now I’m on round three — my youngest. And guess what? Same story. We’ve visited colleges, talked through his essay topic, and now… we’re stuck. He’s over the tours, and every time I bring up a new school, I get that familiar blank stare.

Here’s what I’ve learned: working with your own child on this journey is hard. You know each other’s triggers. The emotional dynamic is different than with a teacher or counselor. And when your student is reluctant or overwhelmed, it’s easy for the process to stall.

That’s why I now do what I do. I know the common missteps because I’ve made them. I understand the pressure — not just on the student, but on the parent who’s trying to help without pushing too hard.

So if you're feeling stuck, or your teen has hit a wall, it might be time to bring in an outside voice. Someone who isn’t Mom or Dad, but who gets it. I work with students (and their parents) to reduce stress, create momentum, and make progress — even when motivation is low.

I’ve walked this road myself, and I can help your family move forward, too.