How to Reduce Stress as College Decisions Start to Come In

December is supposed to be cozy: decorations going up, cookies in the oven, and warm cocoa in hand. But for high school seniors, it’s also the start of one of the most stressful periods of the year. After months of hard work submitting early college applications, the moment arrives: “Your portal has been updated.”

Those updates might bring good news—acceptances, especially Early Decision results that can bring huge relief and closure to the process. But they can also bring deferrals, waitlists, or denials. And for many students, a deferral or waitlist can feel worse than a denial, because now they’re stuck in limbo. Some won’t hear again for up to seven months.

So how do students cope with all these emotions—right in the middle of the holidays?

For Students: How to Manage the Stress of College Decisions

1. Give yourself space to feel disappointed.
You worked incredibly hard. If your application didn’t rise to the top this round, it’s okay to be upset. Acknowledging the disappointment helps you move forward.

2. Open your portals on your timeline.
If you applied Early Action, you do not need to check the moment the email arrives. You don’t have to commit until May 1st. There is no urgency—give yourself the gift of emotional readiness.

3. Review your Common App when you’re ready.
If you were deferred or denied, take a fresh look at your application. Are there updates, achievements, or refinements you can make before Regular Decision deadlines? It’s not too late.

4. Keep your grades strong.
Mid-year grades still matter. Admissions offices look for consistency—and sometimes improvement—through senior year.

5. Stay in your lane.
Don’t compare yourself to friends or classmates. Their outcomes have nothing to do with your worth or your potential. Colleges have institutional priorities that are invisible to applicants—filling a major, balancing geography, meeting athletic or artistic needs. You’ll never know what tipped the scales, so don’t waste energy trying to solve that mystery.

Waiting is hard. Uncertainty is hard. But these decisions do not define your future.

For Parents: How to Support Your Senior Right Now

This is a delicate time. Here’s how to help—not accidentally add stress.

1. Don’t prompt them to check their portals.
Let your student decide when they’re emotionally ready. This is their process.

2. Don’t ask for their login information.
Even if it’s tempting. College applications are about ownership and maturity.

3. Avoid comparisons and commentary.
Statements like, “I can’t believe they picked that student instead of you,” don’t help. They create pressure and imply your child fell short—which is the opposite of support.

4. Give them room to process.
Check in on their wellbeing, but don’t hover. Let them know you’re available, you care, and you’re proud of them no matter what.

College decision season is emotional—for everyone. But with space, support, and perspective, families can navigate it without letting stress take over.

If you found this helpful and want personalized support for your student, I’d love to help guide your family through the process.